In a very pc way, Nate expressed his frustration with his noisy coworkers. His solution was a looped mp3 of whitenoise and reminded me that I wanted to look into generating noise with linux.
Boodler lets you generate endless streams of music without the cpu burn of fluidsynth. It comes with endless loops of whitenoise, drumbeats, etc. to get you started. Further hacking just means finding samples, dropping them to wav, and arranging them with a Python script.